Matt Williams: Stade de France turned into a wake as Ireland’s rugby dream died

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Matt Williams: Stade de France turned into a wake as Ireland’s rugby dream died
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For Andy Farrell's Ireland there is no retreating to the game’s safe place because the game itself is the source of the heartbreak

The outcome was emotional devastation for the brilliant men in green but, sadly, even time does not heal all woundsFor many senior Irish players, like Peter O'Mahony, the World Cup dream effectively ended with defeat to New Zealand in France. Photograph: Dan Sheridan/Inpho

Like the tide, come hell or high water, at 6.30pm every Tuesday and Thursday evenings training would start. If you could get through the day then the evening would bring respite.Powerful New Zealand strong favourites to reach a fifth Rugby World Cup finalEngland hope Borthwick can emulate his role in Japan’s 2015 win over South Africa

Our rugby club’s changing room was filled with the ridiculously politically incorrect humour of my team-mates, who knew of my situation and would walk past me while making a deep purring sound, imitating a Jaguar V8 engine. And then burst out laughing. It was a Neanderthal version of Deepak Chopra’s Quantum Healing, but that environment was a tonic that distracted my mind from my young bleeding heart. I am not sure that today’s grief counsellors would recommend those techniques. There certainly were no therapy Labradoodles about.

In the bitterness of defeat, inside the deepest darkest recesses of your heart you wish that your failure was a dirty lie. Yet, the ultimate heartbreak rests in understanding the truth. You failed. That is where the real pain dwells.

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