I have explained what has happened to me on my own terms, and people have responded in kind, says Hilary Osborne, the Guardian’s money editor
Mon 1 May 2023 06.00 BST’ve had a double mastectomy. I don’t find it straightforward to spell or to pronounce, but it’s the term I find easiest to use when I tell people what has happened to me. I just can’t put it in plain English, and say exactly what the surgeons did. This may change, but it seems too painful to me, and I worry about the people listening.with breast cancer last summer I have tried to avoid couching things in terms that may be unclear.
And people have responded in kind. No one has asked me for details. A couple of people have looked a bit uncertain about what I have been saying, but they were not close family or friends so I didn’t offer an explanation. My son has heard me used the word and not asked what I mean; if and when he does I will tell him, but for the moment he knows that I went to hospital and had an operation and have been recovering.
Some of it, though, is knowing that every time I talk about it I get something back. People reciprocate with information, either their own health problems or things they know about breast cancer. I’ve had recommendations of services, I’ve been buoyed up by other people’s stories of getting through it, and found camaraderie with people who are going through it too right now.They also reciprocate with kindness and lovely messages asking how I am.
And I haven’t always wanted to tell everyone or to talk about it. I didn’t talk about it widely until I’d had enough tests to answer their questions about the extent of it. I didn’t mention it to my neighbours for ages because I liked to have a space where I could talk about the weather and the cat, as in normal times. I didn’t tell my grandma because I didn’t want to worry her. And when she died last summer, I went to her funeral and pretended I was OK to those I hadn’t told.
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