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In the spring of 1986, my wife, Susan, and I hand the builder a $50,000 check to break ground on our new dream home in Tallahassee’s then-poshest neighborhood, . It is a natural next step in our life of upwardly mobile progress in the American dream.
In the spring of 1988, Susan and I receive the release of the Holy Spirit. For me, it is a megaton explosion of repentance, healing, and tears. Susan, who stems from an Irish/German/English heritage, experiences a much quieter but equally profound pouring down of the Holy Spirit. The very ground under our feet is moving. The Kingdom of God is breaking in. weekend at Good Shepherd Catholic Church of Tallahassee.
The second week of May 1988 finds me in Baltimore speaking at a national conference of investment bankers – the bankers of Wall Street. I stuff the billfold back into its sheath and slide by the stinking bum without a word, looking the other way as though he is not even there. Later, while my 5:30 pm business appointment drones on over drinks at the lounge in the Harbor Court, I find myself thinking about that derelict. I know what Jesus told us to do! I read the Scriptures on the weekend retreat at my parish.I know God’s instructions, yet I deliberately disobeyed. Now, I cannot get any peace.
My first few phone calls go unheeded. Someone finally answers the phone at the rectory of the downtown church of Christopher HouseThe day I arrived in Baltimore, I asked the hotel concierge for a map of the downtown area. He handed me a walking guide and circled in red the areas that I should avoid. on my little hotel map, I realize that the mission is located about six blocks into the forbidden red circle. Well, it is not dark yet and we will not be walking.
The assailants throw Dennis against the back wall of a garage and, holding their hands in the air, yell, “It’s cool man. Hey, it’s cool.”I run around to the other side of the car and partially lift, shove, and pour Dennis into the passenger seat. He is a mess., a staff member escorts Dennis inside for an intake interview. And then Dennis stumbles abruptly back out the front door of the . Dennis had left the detox at the mission just three weeks ago and the minimum return time is 30 days.
After Dennis is strapped into the car with his head leaning against the side window, I pull out my little hotel map and trace the new directions. The map is blank for the area we are headed into. We are going way past the forbidden zone. We are bound for the As we work our way up Broadway, it feels like all the people standing on the curbs and sitting on their porches are staring at us.
We climb back into the car and pick our way back down North Gay Street. Dennis begins to cry about his life and about what will become of him; about how he has sunk so low that no one will take him. During the brief interludes between business over the bowl, Dennis talks about God abandoning him. I ask if he wants to pray. He nods. I help wash his face and we pass through the rectory entrance into the 150-year-old church of I steer Dennis to the front row pews where we kneel together in the light of the blue votive candles. I stand next to him with my hand on his shoulder—mostly to ensure a safe distance between us.In my head, I think, “Lord, where are you? This is not working.
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