I grew up boy-crazy in sleepy, sterile Orange County. Now I'm in my 30s, living in Los Angeles and married to a man, but I'm ready to start dating women.
I’ve had an open marriage for a year and a half now. Katie was the first woman on a dating app to ask me out. She was a medical researcher who was direct, funny and wrote “haha” when I made jokes. I was so smitten that I didn’t even care I’d have to drive to the Westside to meet her.
My first date with a woman was with Gretchen, a tall artist from a showbiz family. It turned out to be her first date with a woman too, but our chat over ice cream in Larchmont Village not only had no spark, it was such a chemistry void that I went home feeling like I’d forgotten what it’s like to be attracted to anybody at all.
As for Katie, she invited me to a bar that she mentioned was right next to her place in Santa Monica, a detail that made me spend extra time deciding what underwear to put on. She had a beautiful grin that wasn’t in her pictures, had curves like a Renaissance painting, and was easy to talk to.On a warm Thursday night, I could smell the ocean from our table outside as she told me about being polyamorous in New York before moving to L.A. for work.
Listening to the waves, I thought it seemed like the kind of spot you’d go if you wanted your date to make a move. As we talked, I took a half-step in her direction, but she took an equal half-step away. We were lingering, but her body was turned to the ocean. I’m not a night owl and finally just had to know what she was thinking.
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