Everyone is a little different.
" with it—your desire for sex with your partner tends to dip, at least a little bit. Pair that with the stress of things like cohabitating and coparenting, which are more common in long-term relationships, and sex can fall even further to the back burner.
"When we're initiating sex, we want our partner to say, 'Yes,' which is why it's helpful to appeal to them in a way that feels welcome and exciting."—Vanessa Marin, LMFT, sex therapist The key here is to identify each person’s sex initiation style , so that both of you can initiate sex in a way that's pleasurable to your partner. “When we're initiating sex, we want our partner to say, 'Yes,' which is why it's helpful to appeal to them in a way that feels welcome and exciting—and not like a bother or an annoyance," says Marin.
"You have a hard time closing all the tabs in your brain and shifting into sexy mode, so you appreciate when your partner takes over and gives you a few minutes of time for yourself beforehand," says Marin, of people who resonate with this initiation style.Sex is at its best for people with this initiation style when it's fun and light-hearted."The fastest way to get into your pants is to make you laugh," says Marin, of folks who fall into this camp.
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