Kim Phuc Phan Thi: It has been 50 years and I am not the ‘napalm girl’ anymore

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Kim Phuc Phan Thi: It has been 50 years and I am not the ‘napalm girl’ anymore
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'The child running down the street became a symbol of the horrors of war,' Kim Phuc Phan Thi writes. 'The real person looked on from the shadows, fearful that I would somehow be exposed as a damaged person.'

The author at her home in Ajax, Ontario.I grew up in the small village of Trang Bang in South Vietnam. My mother said I laughed a lot as a young girl. We led a simple life with an abundance of food, since my family had a farm and my mom ran the best restaurant in town. I remember loving school and playing with my cousins and the other children in our village, jumping rope, running and chasing one another joyfully.

You’ve probably seen the photograph of me taken that day, running away from the explosions with the others — a naked child with outstretched arms, screaming in pain. Taken by the South Vietnamese photographer Nick Ut, who was working for The Associated Press, it ran on the front pages of newspapers all over the world and won a Pulitzer Prize. In time, it became one of the most famous images from the Vietnam War.

Growing up, I sometimes wished to disappear not only because of my injuries — the burns scarred a third of my body and caused intense, chronic pain — but also because of the shame and embarrassment of my disfigurement. I tried to hide my scars under my clothes. I had horrific anxiety and depression. Children in school recoiled from me. I was a figure of pity to neighbors and, to some extent, my parents. As I got older, I feared that no one would ever love me.

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