“There’s such a gross fascination and deep intrigue in child stars,” Jennette McCurdy tells V.F. On the eve of her memoir’s release, the former ‘iCarly’ star reveals the true inspiration behind her book’s title—and why she’s reopened the door to acting.
The book’s provocative title and cover, which features McCurdy wryly smiling as she cradles a hot pink urn overflowing with confetti, is purposefully attention-grabbing. But McCurdy argues that her sentiment is justified by the book’s pages. “I stand by the title and I believe in it. It was a tough thing for me to come to terms with,” she explains. “And the things that are difficult to come to terms with are often the things that need to be said the most.
McCurdy has lived a life that could fill five memoirs. Born in Southern California, at age six she was pushed into the entertainment industry by her mother . She had to orient her entire existence around Debra’s manipulation and mood swings. Looking over the glow of candles on her sixth birthday cake, McCurdy writes, “I lock eyes with Mom so she’ll know I care about her, that she’s my priority.
McCurdy broke out in 2007 when she was cast as the scene-stealing prankster Sam Puckett in Nickelodeon’sShe spent six seasons on the series about a wacky weekly web show—sharing her real-life first kiss in an episode that was watched byand enduring abuse allegedly perpetrated by her boss, who is referred to only as “The Creator” in McCurdy’s book.
“I chose to name him ‘The Creator’ because I find it entertaining and sort of fitting for the person,” McCurdy says of the man who allegedly offered her alcohol when she was underage and gave her a massage. Writes McCurdy, “I feel similarly around The Creator as I feel around Mom—on edge, desperate to please, terrified of stepping out of line.”
Behind the scenes of her star-making vehicle, McCurdy suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety about her newly acquired celebrity, and a crippling anorexia that was introduced by McCurdy’s mother as “calorie restriction.” She was also subjected to “breast and vaginal exams” from Debra, who would shower with her until age 16, under the pretense of checking McCurdy for cancer.
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