When a partner or child makes a small bid to get our attention or show affection, it’s easy to brush them off. Here's why responding positively in these moments is vital.
Each day we make small "emotional bids" to our family members. These are little moments of attempted connection."Relationship masters" are much more likely to respond positively to emotional bids than "relationship disasters."
Often, we're too busy to pay attention or respond when family members try to connect. How often do they do the same?The last time your partner gave you a quick kiss, how did you respond? What about when your child started telling you about their day? Did you stop what you were doing and ask questions or half-listen while you tried to multi-task?
Each day, we make emotional bids to those in our lives—little moments of attempted connection. According to the, these bids hold great meaning for our relationships. People in thriving relationships tend to respond positively to each other’s bids most of the time, whereas people in distressed relationships are more likely than the masters to ignore or respond negatively to each other’s emotional bids.
In a busy life, these little moments might feel just like that—little moments that do not really matter. How big of a deal can it really be if you don’t look up from your phone when your partner makes a comment about something they see out the window? But each moment we ignore is a missed opportunity to connect and build up an emotional bank of positive moments that can help buffer us when things go wrong.
What do you do? Just being aware of the importance of these small moments might help.
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