Dear How to Do It: I feel like I’m just burned out.
I worked as a bikini barista for two years and it made me feel repulsed by sex. At first, the money was good and in some ways, it felt empowering, like making lemonade out of lemons where the lemons are a society that disproportionately sexualizes women. I worked close to the highway near a truck stop and about one in 10 customers behaved inappropriately, but when you serve hundreds of customers a day, it adds up.
I empathize immensely with your description of sexualized labor as making lemonade out of a pile of patriarchy-flavored citrus fruit, and with the downsides of that experience. I used to come back from conventions hoping for a man-free 48 hours. I wouldn’t want to be touched, or smell the sweat of anxious dudes knowing they’re expecting more than they have any real reason to hope for but who nonetheless persist toward their goal.
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