I Took an Intimacy Coordinator Class to Learn How to Say No in Real Life

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I Took an Intimacy Coordinator Class to Learn How to Say No in Real Life
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The techniques these pros use to keep onscreen sex scenes safe are surprisingly useful in day-to-day situations.

These professionals are in the business of agency, of putting autonomy in the hands of cast and crew on a stage or set. For my own narrative, in the scenes of my work and personal life, I wanted to teach myself how to demand more. Paradoxically, demanding more starts with saying yes to less, says, PhD, an intimacy coordinator and CEO of IDC. "There is a historical expectation that women have to manage the emotions of the people around them," she explains.

helps me be conscious and courteous,” she says. "I can protect myself and set boundaries for how I want to be treated."part of stories — without violating a person’s sense of autonomy. The class was mostly actors, but a few directors, college professors, and mental health professionals had signed up too. The instructors were all working intimacy directors and coordinators. We listened to their lectures and also worked in small groups to talk about our experiences with consent in our lives and in the workplace. We played games that revolved around saying no. One was like tag, where the "it" person had to go around and ask classmates if they’d like to take over.

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