'I suffered single mom guilt for years, one day changed it all' Read more:
As years passed, the guilt loosened its grip on me as life did indeed get easier. I got a promotion at work and didn't have to live paycheck to paycheck anymore. I met a man my kids could call their stepfather. We moved out of that apartment. But the guilt never fully left me, hiding just beneath the surface and reappearing with a vengeance with every tween mood change, with every adolescent misstep.
I began to realize that they had watched me work hard to create a new life for myself. They had watched me budget, save money and get out of debt, claw my way through the muck to find happiness and create a family dynamic that prioritized open communication and support for each other. They may have watched me fall apart, but they also watched me get back up again.
When schools opened back up, they struggled to get used to studying in-person again with the added fear of catching COVID. After my son wrote an essay for his college applications about those struggles, we talked more about how thankful we were that we supported each other as a family and how appreciative he is to be able to go off to college during such a tumultuous time period.
Nearly a decade after my fears about how I would cope as a single mom first emerged, I realized that not only did my children survive my divorce, they thrived. And seeing that, as I left my son at college that Friday afternoon, helped me to finally let go.
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