“If it was Sunday, you knew where to find me. Church was my safe space — until the foundation of that place came crumbling down into a pile of doubts and frustration.”
erupted and church leaders who had branded themselves as friends of the marginalized began indirectly telling their congregations to vote for Donald Trump, a foe of the oppressed. At the time, I was attending church in Orange County, California, and had recently quit a job at a Christian media company.
I opted out of Sunday services for about a year before bouncing around different houses of worship in Los Angeles. Eventually, I made my way to a nightclub in Downtown LA where a young, trendypastor was preaching. His theology aligned with what I had learned at college, and his delivery was a perfect blend of enticement and intellectual stimulation. I thought I had finally found a space that felt like home. I signed up to become a member and began serving in their children's ministry.
. I tried to tune in, but I found myself zoning out or logging off halfway through services. The desire to sit and listen to words that felt hollow no longer captivated me or made me feel refreshed.Leslie AmbrizThe truth is that I was tired. I was tired of constantly telling others that I was a Christian with the disclaimer that I was not likewho followed Trump or believed in oppressive values and systems.
But I also couldn’t disappoint my parents. During this time, I lived at home and was nervous to leave the church under my mother's roof. As a child and grandchild of immigrants, I unintentionally designed most of my life in a way that, shaping myself to be someone who would make them proud. I never want them to worry about me or feel like their sacrifices were in vain.
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