Here, an eating disorder coach and author recounts her own experience with anorexia nervosa, including her diagnosis, her turning point toward recovery, and where she is now.
All through middle and high school, I wore my smile as a mask. My huge toothy grin hid my sadness, loneliness, and unworthiness. I held on to roles like the straight-A student, exercise fanatic, and the girl who always cracked a joke when there was tension at home. My eating disorder became my protector, and my priority was hiding it so no one could take it away from me.
"Mer, we will not sit back and watch you die. You have had this eating disorder for 25 years. You need help." Columbia Day Program My two nephews were also born—I called them my guardian angels. I wanted to be a wonderful aunt. I wanted to see them grow up. I needed to stay alive to do so. My eating disorder had competition.
As I placed the fork into my mouth with each meal, I slowly chiseled the chains off my wrists and ankles. I processed earlier sexual traumas. I identified more effective ways to feel my feelings and to express my emotions. I learned
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