Dear How to Do It: I moved in with my boyfriend—and quickly learned a startling fact about him.
Not at all. She’s saying, “I do not want this sex,” and he’s like, “I take this very personally.” Or at least that’s what she’s observing.I mean, there’s a lack of self-awareness on his part, it feels like, that what he’s asking for is by most standards a lot. It shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise when you have a partner who says, “OK, that’s too much. I can’t be having sex with you multiple times a day, every day, three years into our relationship.
I mean, the words “sexual pressure” are in this letter. He’s pressuring her, and that’s not good. And in fact, he’s taking it personally that the attraction is waning, but it seems to me like actually his behavior is a direct cause of this, and maybe the attraction is waning because of the sexual pressure.And the writer mentions having other shit to do. We are adults. We have responsibilities. Most of us can’t drop everything we’re doing multiple times a day for half an hour to have sex.
It’s not like there is something positive that you get out of that. I think about when I would go to the gym and it’d be really busy and I’d wait on line for a treadmill.
And to me, if you get to the point where you’re fantasizing about breaking up with your partner as opposed to having sex with your partner, that really says pretty much everything. I think that his masturbation habits are sort of neither here nor there, but the overall effect is hugely wearing on this person.Yeah.