Is a Sleep Divorce Healthy for You and Your Partner?
, or restless leg syndrome. Not to mention that being consistently woken up by your partner is a good recipe for resentment over time. Some couples will make the switch when they have opposite work schedules or when they’re in the new-parent zone, perhaps trading off who has the baby monitor in their room so at least one of them can get a full night’s rest.
Of course, this arrangement is not ideal for all. If you’re making this choice to avoid conflict, one-on-one time, or sex and intimacy, sleeping apart may just drive a wedge between the two of you.If you’re considering this option, the key is to have clear conversations about why you’d like to make the switch and whether you see it as a long-term change or a temporary one. Having a shared narrative about the reasons will also help you explain it to your kids .
For many couples, the only real touchpoints in an otherwise hectic day are before bed and first thing in the morning. If you’re sleeping separately, be mindful of how you’re going to get that daily time for contact and intimacy. Maybe you’ll aim for a snuggle on the couch after dinner, or perhaps you’ll both get in bed for a daily catch-up before going your separate ways to snooze. Being intentional about time together will help prevent a feeling of disconnection over time.
If you’re on different pages about sleeping together or separately, talk it through and try to build in exceptions and compromise. Remember, neither option is objectively better—it’s about what works best for you both.
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