If you don't ask for what you want, chances are, you're not going to get it. Here's how to start asserting yourself more, writes DrMarinaHarris
Some people avoid asking for what they want because they're afraid of looking selfish, which only ensures they won't get their needs met.To get someone to do something, reinforce the person's efforts to make it more likely he or she will respect the request.The idea of getting what you want gets a bad reputation. Some people worry it’s selfish to ask for what you need. The reality is, other people can’t read minds. We need to ask for things in order to get our needs met.
Briefly give context to the situation. This step should only take a sentence or two. Describe what is going on in brief, descriptive terms that don’t judge. Note how it may be difficult for the other person to do what you ask. This shows that you’re giving thought to the other person and not just making demands of them. Lastly, reinforce their efforts in some way — state how it benefits them or why it would be good for them to fulfill your request.
You can even offer to help them out. “If you take out the trash, I can get a new bag and put it in the bin.”How you say the message is just as important as what you say. Even if you follow these steps but yell at the person, roll your eyes, name-call, or use sarcasm, your request will fall flat and maybe even make the situation worse. Follow these steps to deliver your request in a skillful way.
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