In his memoir, the author describes what happens to his life as he deals with Ménière’s disease.
In 2008, writer John Cotter first started hearing a ringing in his ear. It’s the kind of annoyance that everyone experiences at some point — after a loud concert, say, or time spent near a construction site. Usually, it goes away.The ringing became a roar, “made of several tones, high and low together, like a lawnmower near your ear and a plane not far away. It announced itself with clicks and whistles, changing the pressure in my ears, a kind of buzzy gravity, a planet made of static.
Cotter discussed his book via telephone from New England, where he lives. This interview has been condensed and edited for length and clarity. I thought that writing the story would be a way to understand it. This thing was happening to me. It was entirely outside of my control, but writing about it was inside of my control. Sometimes you don’t know how you’re feeling until you write about how you’re feeling. I also felt very isolated because I’d had to quit most of the things I do for work. I’d had to cancel a lot of social obligations. I couldn’t leave the house when I was really vertiginous. So it was a way of communicating.
Q: The epigraph of your book is from the French journalist Xavier Aubryet: “Illness and Paris are mutually exclusive terms; Paris only likes healthy people, because it only likes success, and illness is as much a failure as poverty.” Have there been times during your illness where you felt that you had somehow failed?
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