'Incorporating a parent's memory into your child's life preserves family lineage, traditions, and generational knowledge.' (🖊 IsobellaJade)
I named my son Phoenix because my father died in a town called Phoenix, New York. He died in a fire a year and half before my son was born, and when I thought about the name, the symbolism of a phoenix bird rising from the ash and life beginning again comforted me. Naming my son where my dad died helped my grieving process. When I said the name while looking at my newborn son, it gave me some hope.
When my son was around 3 years old he asked me if I had a dad. I was surprised by his question and simply said, “He passed away.” And then I added, “He is always in our hearts.” I didn’t exactly want to scare my son by saying his grandfather died in a terrible fire, and I didn’t get to say goodbye. I started sharing facets of my dad with my kids by giving my son a superhero Lego set on Father’s Day. My dad had loved comic books as a kid, something I found out about after he died while talking with his sister. Carrying on his love of superheroes also reminded me of a Superman figure my father gave me when I was a child.
“My boys have never met my father. My dad always wanted to be a grandpa and it breaks my heart that they will never get that chance to learn and play with him,” says my friend Shani, a mom of two boys in Larchmont, New York. Her father was an amazing Naval engineer and built ships, and her grandfather and great grandfather also built ships and was a sea captain. She keeps her father’s wisdom alive and shares her dad’s memory with her kids with his anecdotes for life.
Another mom-friend, Charysmel, lost her dad this year and now keeps an orchid — her father’s favorite — in her home. It warms her heart when her daughter points to it.
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