As a child, I wanted to belong, but didn’t see brown girls like me in culture. I’d like space for our stories to be told, too
very Sunday, Jaspreet Kaur’s mother would rub oil into her daughter’s scalp and comb it through her hair while sharing stories of their family’s history. “The oiling of the hair was a precious time when women caught up and connected to their roots in the stories we were told, the songs we’d sing,” Kaur says.
As a brown girl myself, with English as a second language, I recognise much of my own experience reflected within the pages of Kaur’s memoir, in particular, the tension found in reconciling one’s cultural heritage with a need to assimilate. Kaur writes on how microaggressions, such as not having your name pronounced correctly, can have a cumulative effect on how brown women view and value themselves in society. “Imagine a microaggression as a tiny paper cut – you won’t bleed to death. But imagine getting 10 paper cuts a day – your hand would really hurt.” She explains that what others perceive as subtle or trivial, in fact, exacts a huge toll.
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