'Nobody was coming to save me from this life.' In her new book, 'Uncultured', daniellamyoung describes being raised in — and escaping from — the infamous Children of God cult . Read an excerpt:
religious sex cult. I had spent the first 15 years of my life playing at battle drills in “God’s Army,” getting ready for what to do when the Antichrist’s soldiers showed up. I was born a soldier. After I went AWOL on God’s Army, and spent years clawing my way to an education, I found myself running hard into the familiar embrace of Uncle Sam’s Army, where I would gain a community, a purpose, and a mission once again.
“Hurry up,” she said again and again, her South African accent even more pronounced than usual. “Get in line!” When we reached the main living room, I searched among the crowd of a hundred adults, most in various degrees of dress, and squeezed Merry’s hand in relief when I spotted Mom. But seeing Mom protecting her belly, swollen in the last weeks of pregnancy with Uncle Zephaniah’s baby, made the cloud of doom I felt hanging over the room even heavier.
A murmur of disciples praising God echoed through the room: “Praise you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord. You’ve told us this was coming. Help us to be prepared. Help us to stand up for our faith during these hardest times.” I heard fear in the voices but also something that sounded like excitement. Mom bowed her head, nodding. Was she crying? Was she praying? Was she imagining what would happen when they took me and Merry? Or was she thanking Grandpa and Jesus for guiding us? For this opportunity to be tested, to prove our mettle in fire?We’ve received many prophecies from Jesus already, and he promises that the children will be fine. They might have to stay away from their parents for a while.
“Burn down these claims of the wicked judge and police who swear false oaths that our children are abused, touched by our brethren’s own hands. Our children, our precious children, who are a heritage of you, Lord.” Our actions could save or damn us all. We were taught to smile and say we were happy. Nobody ever hit us. Nobody ever touched us. We could see our parents whenever we wanted. The adults loved us and wanted what was best for us.
I was supposed to be scared of being captured, of being stolen away, but the fear intertwined with a secret yearning I could never name out loud: I wanted to experience the freedom of the outside world. I wanted to be brave and good, but I also wanted to be far away from Uncle Jerry and all the other leering Uncles.
I couldn’t survive in this world. But it was the only world I knew. At age six, these two truths were already at war inside me.
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