DearPrudie: What’s a grandmother to do?
Slate is now asking those who read the most to support our journalism more directly by subscribing to Slate Plus.My granddaughter “Riley” is getting married late next year. She’s currently putting together her guest list and is not planning on inviting my childhood best friend, “Greta.” Greta has been overwhelmingly kind to Riley for over 30 years. She sends Riley checks for every birthday, takes Riley to dinner whenever she’s in town, and generally plays a grandmotherly role in Riley’s life.
Rather than approaching Riley with a demand or an ultimatum, you should frame it instead as a request: “I don’t know what your budget or guest limit looks like, and I don’t want to impose, but if you’re able to make room for her, it would mean a lot to us both if you’d invite Greta.” I hope you can try to look at thisas an act of spiteful exclusion. It would be great if Riley could invite her grandmother’s best friend to her wedding, but it may not be possible.
If you want the low-conflict route, set these group texts to “do not disturb” and drop a chatty, cheery little announcement before so doing: “Just wanted to let you know I’m not able to respond to this thread while work is so intense right now. Just know I’m thinking of you and can’t wait to talk on the phone next weekend.
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