Harriette Cole: My husband’s clothes show too much skin

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Harriette Cole: My husband’s clothes show too much skin
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He says he’ll wear what he wants, no matter where we’re going.

Do your best to get your husband to look in the mirror when he is wearing the small sweater. Point out that it doesn’t fit him anymore.

Ask him to indulge you for a moment. Bring one of the new sweaters and ask him to try it on. Point out that he looks good in it because it fits.care. You want to look at him and see him well-groomed. Tell him it matters to you that he pays attention to his appearance, at least a little bit. Draw the line for going out. Tell him that even if he refuses to dress in clothes that fit at home, when you go out together, he needs to wear something that fits his body. A recently retired former employee of mine is trying to build a friendship with me. We were never particularly friendly while they were employed, and I find the dynamic now to be awkward and uncomfortable.Can you help me come up with a way to set boundaries diplomatically?Be cordial and clear.

Let them know that your schedule is too full now for you to commit to spending time together. Just say no when they invite you to do things. If this person emails you, write back graciously, but do not agree to hang out with them or become pen pals. If they call, send it to voicemail. You don’t have to respond right away, either. When you get a chance to listen to the message, you can decide what is required, but a simple text back saying you are very busy and unable to connect right now should suffice.

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