“I’m more like a big brother who just always looks out for her and wants the best for her in life.”
That has benefits for him, too – dropping his serious side and reverting to “being a bit of a big kid” has allowed him to let his hair down in ways he hadn’t done in years. He also credits Allegra’s “kind and caring” personality for softening him.Watson’s experience is music to the ears of Andrew King, the community education manager at Relationships Australia in NSW. But he adds that such success stories are not always the case in blended families.
On their part, stepfathers may feel unsure about how much they should parent their stepchild. Is it up to them to enforce discipline? Or will that damage the budding relationship? To make things run more smoothly, clear communication between both adults is needed, says King. If things aren’t going swimmingly with your stepchild, King recommends seeking support. He says men often view such help “as being intrusive, or [a sign] that they’ve failed, rather than actually using support in the early stages to make sure that the best outcomes occur for all”.
But if you’re about to take the leap into stepfatherhood, King advises focusing on the potential benefits rather than fretting about all the ways in which things might go pear-shaped. “Children need as many healthy adults around them as possible,” he says. But adding a loving stepfather into the mix should be seen as a win-win for all involved. “It’s going to broaden the family dynamics, and that’s going to have challenges. But it’s also going to be a great opportunity for a new set of rich relationships.
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