Folding Chair In Church Basement Fantasizes About Getting Smashed Over Wrestler’s Back

DALLAS, TX—Hoping to eventually escape the dreary and mundane utility space, a local folding chair in the basement of Antioch Church reportedly fantasized Tuesday about getting smashed over a professional wrestler’s back. “Someday I’ll get out of this damn basement and finally make the big time, being swung at an…

DALLAS, TX—Hoping to eventually escape the dreary and mundane utility space, a local folding chair in the basement of Antioch Church reportedly fantasized Tuesday about getting smashed over a professional wrestler’s back.

“Someday I’ll get out of this damn basement and finally make the big time, being swung at an unsuspecting wrestler or referee as the packed arena cheers,” said the wistful steel chair, bemoaning how it had wasted its prime years supporting the asses of teenagers, AA attendees, and elderly bingo players when it should have been inflicting pain on an ornery heel.

ress time, the folding chair was well on its way to achieving its goal after getting sold at a church fundraiser.

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