Why ambivalence will help you flourish rather than flounder.
Our recent research has found that the benefits of ambivalence go away when there is pressure to reach a conclusion quickly. If you can, give yourself a deadline that isn’t in the immediate future and allows you to devote time and energy to listening to your emotions and considering your alternatives. We think that doing this helps you harness, rather than suppress, the information you’re gleaning from your ambivalence to make a more informed decision.
A participant in one of our recent studies demonstrated what this looks like in practice. She shared that she was a trained social worker working in the nonprofit field but was not able to pay off her student debt . She felt like these goals were in conflict and was ambivalent about her situation. She initially felt stuck, unsure of how to resolve this tension.
One practical way to get into this frame of mind is by connecting with people who are more advanced in their careers or even retired. They have the wisdom of hindsight and can help you approach your career with more flexibility, with the understanding that one decision won’t define you forever. In fact, emerging
on generational differences in the workforce suggests that age diversity improves decision making on teams.Career inflection points are markers of our complexity, yet the world has largely conditioned us to think of complexity — both in terms of identity and our emotions — in a negative light. We think it means we’re fragmented, don’t have our priorities straight, and can’t make up our minds. This can lead some of us to make career decisions that minimize or avoid the feeling of ambivalence.
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