I could no longer face the 80-minute commute to anywhere, but I needed to find the right instructor.
It has taken me two decades and a pandemic to do what most people achieve within reasonable proximity to turning 18: I am learning how to drive. The reason for this is simple: I tried to get my learners’ at 16 and failed the test. I slunk out of VicRoads shame-faced, so humiliated that I simply never tried again.
I would have remained happily unlicensed if it were not for the pandemic. The pandemic! Suddenly the thought of spending 80 minutes trapped in proximity to pathogen-bearing strangers holds little appeal. Then, a miracle: VicRoads unveils an online version of the test, available to anyone with an internet connection. No public humiliation required.
My instructor wears faded band t-shirts, cut-off denim, and scuffed Doc Marten boots. Her arms are peppered with stick ‘n’ poke tattoos. At any given time, there are multiple cans of spent Red Bull rolling around under the seats of her dual-pedal Corolla; despite this weakness for energy drinks, she is unflappably calm. She picks a route and we burble around the backstreets of suburbia at the speed of 20km/h. I grip the wheel as though my hands are the only thing holding it in place.
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