More “xennials” are seeking professional help with a very personal choice.
By Caitlin Gibson Caitlin Gibson Feature writer Email Bio Follow March 17 at 6:00 AM They arrive anxious for an answer. Or maybe, finally, a sense of peace. They arrive because they haven’t been able to resolve the biggest question of their lives: Do I want to be a parent? And so they come to the California therapy practice of Ann Davidman — by plane, by car, by phone — in the hope that the self-titled “motherhood clarity mentor” might deliver an epiphany.
But a motherhood clarity mentor is nothing like the well-intentioned auntie who coos, “Oh, honey, of course you should have a baby,” or the sleep-starved mom friend who sternly warns, “If you’re not totally sure, you better not.” A parental indecision therapist isn’t interested in adding one more voice to the cacophony. She wants you to learn to listen to your own.
Merle Bombardieri has been a private practice clinical social worker and psychotherapist for more than 30 years. Like Davidman, Bombardieri has noticed more interest in her practice in recent years; there are often waiting lists for her course at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education. “Now, I think more people are willing to admit that they’re not certain about whether they want to have children,” she says.
“Even when people call me today, they often say, ‘I can’t believe you exist,’ and ‘No one knows I’m calling you,’ ” she says. “The culture is changing — but very, very slowly.” For Vought, who now has a 3-year-old son, “the state of the world just couldn’t be overlooked,” she says. She notes that her family lives in California, on the front lines of climate change: “It’s scary to have a kid right now, especially where we live.”
There is one particular exercise from Davidman's class that Vaziri still uses whenever she struggles to make a decision.
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