Advice from Annie Lane.
My father-in-law has been living with us for the past two years, as he is in the process of buying a new house. The housing market has been tough, and it’s taken longer than expected. What was at first going to be a six-month stay has extended well beyond.
My father-in-law pays no expenses and instead continues to save money from two retirements. Is it wrong for us to have the conversation about helping with expenses now? The cost of everything has gone up, and it feels like a child staying with us. He is helpful with household chores and handyman work, but that doesn’t negate the expenses we are continuing to incur with a third person in our household. I am very frustrated at this point with the entire situation. Any advice would be most helpful.
Consult with your spouse before having this conversation to make sure you are both on the same page in terms of what you are asking for and how to best communicate with him.I have been with my partner for nearly three years. He is a loving, caring man. He came out of a 30-year marriage and is separated but not divorced yet, which is bothering me, even though I know he doesn’t want to go back to his ex.
Anyway, he has two kids living with him: his 23-year-old daughter and her boyfriend, who is 26, and his 22-year-old son and his girlfriend, who is 19. His son is lazy and doesn’t do anything. I’ve mentioned this to my partner many times, and he says, “Leave it to me, I’ll talk to him” but then never does. His daughter is nice and helpful, but she is too attached to her dad. They sit down and watch shows together while I am in the kitchen making dinner for everyone or doing my own stuff.
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