Must I suck it up and come up with $900 to keep the peace?
My daughter and son-in-law are expecting their second child. Everyone is very happy for them. The problem is the difference between her in-laws’ beliefs and mine. I was brought up in a family in which parties and celebrations were held at home. We opened our house to friends and relatives, everyone brought food and we celebrated the occasion.
The in-laws are substantially more well-to-do than we are. They celebrate every occasion at a restaurant, club or venue, with many people attending. My daughter has been a part of this family for years and enjoys the big celebrations. The problem is, I am being asked to contribute half the cost of her upcoming baby shower. For the venue, bartender, fees, linens, table decorations, etc., my share comes to more than $900. Abby, I’m not in a position to do this, nor do I want to. My daughter is angry with me because I refused, although I did promise to buy anything she doesn’t receive at the shower.
Am I wrong for refusing to take part in this? Or must I suck it up and come up with the $900 to keep the peace?Your daughter may be pregnant, but there are other “facts of life” she seems to have overlooked. One of them is that the kind of celebrations to which she has become accustomed cost more than you can comfortably afford to spend.
I assume there will be future celebrations in which you will be expected to participate. If that’s true, then it’s time to explain the obvious to your daughter, her husband and her in-laws: Their style of entertaining is simply out of your budget.I have a dear friend of more than 30 years who has a bad habit of being extremely nosy. She says it shows she cares about the person. She asks about members of my family she has never met and why they made certain decisions.
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