Dear Abby advises the child of divorced parents and the wife of a man who can’t admit he’s going deaf.
My parents were married for 22 years. They separated in 2007, and by 2008 the divorce was final. While this was a good thing for both of them, the fallout from their marriage was intense. I won’t dig into the ugly details, but they both had their faults, and it was rough.
Since the divorce, Dad has moved on. Sadly, he lost his wife of 13 years suddenly several months ago. Mom still blames Dad for every bad thing that has happened to her since the divorce, even though she chose to quit her job and go on disability, which severely limited her income and options. When Dad’s wife died, Mom was almost happy. She said she knew that same grief because of what she went through with the divorce.
Ask your father how he would feel about joining the family during the coming holidays. You may find that he would prefer to avoid her and socialize with friends he and his wife cultivated during their marriage. But please do not allow your mother to dictate whom you can or cannot entertain in your home. If she wishes to stay away, that will be her privilege and her punishment.My husband is hard of hearing.
Our marriage has turned into one big fight. I have asked him to say, “I didn’t hear you. Could you repeat that?” when he doesn’t hear me, but that hasn’t worked. He still flat-out denies that I said anything to him. If I don’t hear him clearly, I ask him to repeat what I didn’t hear. How can I convince him that he needs a hearing aid before these fights end our marriage? —This is a problem you both should discuss with your husband’s doctor, preferably before his next physical.
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