I would like to invite Dad to holiday gatherings with the family this year, as he will be alone most of the time, but Mom refuses to come if he is there.
Remember the adage, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”? All these years, your mother has nursed her anger as though it was an infant. The only person who can help her “move on” is herself, which she is clearly unwilling to do.
Ask your father how he would feel about joining the family during the coming holidays. You may find that he would prefer to avoid her and socialize with friends he and his wife cultivated during their marriage. But please do not allow your mother to dictate whom you can or cannot entertain in your home. If she wishes to stay away, that will be her privilege and her punishment.My husband is hard of hearing.
Our marriage has turned into one big fight. I have asked him to say, “I didn’t hear you. Could you repeat that?” when he doesn’t hear me, but that hasn’t worked. He still flat-out denies that I said anything to him. If I don’t hear him clearly, I ask him to repeat what I didn’t hear. How can I convince him that he needs a hearing aid before these fights end our marriage?This is a problem you both should discuss with your husband’s doctor, preferably before his next physical.
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