Daily News | Dear Abby | Man disregards woman’s specific complaint
I’m an older woman. My husband and I have been married eight years but were together 15 years prior to our marriage. He is a wonderful, caring man in most ways. But from time to time, he snaps extremely unflattering photos of me, sends them to everyone we know and even orders enlargements made for me.
I have a mouth condition that makes smiling painful, so unless I know a picture is being taken, I look really old and grumpy. I have asked him PLEASE not to do this because it’s humiliating when he sends them out to friends and family members. I think it’s unkind and disrespectful and have told him so, yet he persists.
I’m to the point that this has become a deal-breaker in our marriage, and he knows it. He claims he loves me and is proud of me. And yes, we have been to counseling about our relationship in general because of the many times he has humiliated me in public. But he won’t stop. How can I handle this going forward?DEAR HUMILIATED: It appears your “wonderful, caring” husband has a mean streak. He’s getting his kicks by embarrassing you.
I’m afraid Bill has become too attached to me because of this, because he has started texting me every day, asks me to go places with him and fixates on me whenever I am over there. The last straw was when he called me in the middle of the night, crying about his ex-girlfriend. In order to preserve his living situation and their friendship, my boyfriend doesn’t want to confront Bill until he crosses a line. I believe he has already violated my boundaries. How do I stop this elephant in the room from growing?I agree that more than one boundary has been violated. Because your boyfriend is unwilling to draw the line, you will have to. Start by telling Bill that you don’t want him calling in the middle of the night or as often as he does.
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