How do I let go of this anger so I can grieve the loss of my husband and remember the love and good times we shared instead of this nasty affair?
DEAR MISSING: I’m glad you wrote, because it’s important you give yourself the opportunity to vent about your feelings. A constructive way to do that would be to talk with a licensed therapist or with your spiritual adviser. Did you ever discuss your reason for leaving the church you loved with the pastor there? If you didn’t, that might be a place to start.
You also mentioned that in leaving, you left behind valued friendships. It may be time to renew them. And please, stop feeling embarrassed because of your husband’s transgression. He was weak and he was human, and the sooner you can accept that, the sooner your rage may lessen.DEAR ABBY: My 80-ish mother has always considered herself an artist, although her paintings are bad at best.
The bride and groom were angry and embarrassed, as were the bridal party and guests. The painting was atrocious, and my oblivious mother beamed and grinned and took a bow. She does this at most weddings and events, and I’m mortified each time. The recipients are, without exception, visibly uncomfortable and even angry that she attempts to steal their limelight. Mother doesn’t notice.
This isn’t dementia; she has always been an attention hog and narcissist. I reached the point that I’m going to avoid any events she is attending. I have begged her not to do this, but she claims I’m “just trying to stifle her creativity” and she’s a gifted artist. Abby, people are laughing behind her back. How do I stop her from doing this? -- MORTIFIED IN MICHIGAN
DEAR MORTIFIED: Your mother’s craving for attention is not a reflection on you. You have tried to warn her. Now it’s time to let it go. She isn’t going to stop until one of the future recipients reacts by telling her honestly in front of everyone exactly what they think of her “masterpiece.”Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.
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