I miss them terribly when they aren’t with me. My anxiety and worry have skyrocketed.
I want to do what’s best for my kids, and I struggle daily with worrying if what I am doing is best. Is it best for them to be with their dad half the time when he hasn’t been around much these past two years? I have talked to a lawyer, who said it’s up to me since we were never married. Friends and family have told me to give Dad only every other weekend, but is that truly what’s best for them?
I don’t know what to do and feel so lost. It would be easier for me if their dad had only every other weekend. However, this decision isn’t about me. How do I know if what I’m doing is best for my kids?The answer to your question depends on how involved with the children their father is when they are with him.
To his credit, your ex appears to be stepping up to the plate. And you are right -- this isn’t just about you and your own needs. I applaud you for recognizing it.A year ago, my landlord asked me to move out of an apartment that I loved. I could no longer afford the rent, so I asked my son if I could live with him. He agreed without hesitation. Two weeks later, I packed up and moved.
At first, it was comfortable, but things started to change when I had emergency open-heart surgery. My granddaughter announced that she was moving in as well. Then here she comes with her boyfriend, expecting him to live there, too. My son refused at first but changed his mind. That’s when the constant screaming started.
Her boyfriend has a bad attitude. He bullies me when nobody is at home. Neither one works. They live on my son’s income. I’m running low on patience and strength. I’m 77. All I would like is to get better and have some peace and quiet. What do I do? Can you advise me?Because the stress is becoming too much for you, explain to your son what is going on when he is absent. Then start looking for an alternative living situation you will be able to manage within your budget.
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