Dear Abby advises a dad who longs for a son, and a teenager suffering from depression.
My wife and I have been married for 17 years and have three wonderful daughters, ages 13, 10 and 5. Lately, I’ve felt like I’m the odd man out in a girls-only club. I wish I had a son I could share my interests with. I’d love to have someone I could take fishing, teach about classic cars and play football and baseball with. I have tried introducing those interests to my girls, but they’re not into them.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my daughters beyond words. I beam with pride at their cheerleading competitions, at their dance recitals and at family gatherings, and I thank God for them daily. I recently asked my wife if we could try to have one more child in the hopes of having a son. My wife is healthy, all three pregnancies went fine and we both make enough money to be good providers. She said she would “think about it.
If a friend is feeling sad, I do my best to make them feel better , but no matter the outcome, I always end up feeling sad. If my friends are happy, I’m happy; if my friends are depressed, I’m depressed. My therapist has described me as an “empath” and a “sponge.” I have yet to find how to live my own, independent life. I’m sick and tired of feeling the way I feel because of other people. What can I do? —You are already working with a therapist. That’s good news. Now that you know what your diagnosis is, you have someone who can help you manage your emotions so they won’t swamp you. Be patient. Your therapist will help you find the tools to accomplish this, and they will be important for you later in life.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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