Daily News | Dear Abby | Abuse victim can’t get mother to see truth
One of my siblings was abused as a child. In turn, he abused me when he was a pre-teen and into his teens. It stopped when he got a girlfriend at the age of 14. This was news to my parents.
Now that the cat is out of the bag, I have tried to explain to my mom that I don’t like being around him. She has heard me, but she pretends like it didn’t happen and still tries to get everyone together for holidays, etc. The idea of seeing him makes me sick, and I’m terrified for his children. I went to therapy as a young adult to work out my issues with him and what happened. The abuse has affected my ability to hold onto relationships, and I fight depression often, which I am good at hiding. She keeps saying, “but you were so close as kids.” I don’t think she understands what “grooming” is.
I am concerned by your statement that the abuse has caused you to be depressed, which you are “good at hiding,” and which prevents you from forming relationships. Those issues might be resolved if, as an adult, you consult another licensed psychotherapist. While it may not be something you wish to revisit, I hope you will consider it.I am a woman who is engaged to a wonderful woman who has a busy life. We met online 18 months ago and felt an instant connection.
My concern is that we talk only once or twice during the week and maybe text once a day. It is not enough for me. I have expressed how I feel, but I think she’s just too busy. She plans on moving in with me once we are married. I recently purchased a brand-new home. Because she is so involved in her family’s lives, I can’t see her leaving them to live with me. What should I do?You and your fiancee need to have a serious, in-depth conversation about how this will work.
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