College-bound Uvalde students worry how the tragedy will define them in their new environments and struggle with guilt about the people they’re leaving behind.
by calling or texting 988, or you can reach the Crisis Text Line by texting “HOME” to 741741.
“I didn’t know what to do. It was a crazy feeling, going around and asking if they needed volunteers anywhere,” she said. Students leaving home for college often experience a flood of emotions: apprehension, excitement and anxiety. But for college-bound students from Uvalde, like Diaz and Cruz, there’s the weight of this summer when they experienced both searing grief and fear, but also excitement and relief.
In Uvalde, leaving town after high school graduation is not that common. A little more than half of Uvalde public school graduates each year directly enroll in a two- or four-year college after high school, with a majority attending the local community college or the University of Texas at San Antonio.
In Uvalde, it is impossible not to know someone impacted by the tragedy. Diaz’ father, Eulalio Diaz, Jr., is one of Uvalde County’s justices of the peace, a government official whose job requires him to identify the dead in this town 80 miles west of San Antonio. It was her father who was called to identify the 21 killed last May.Diaz said she remembers on the day of the shooting there were rumors flying around town that other schools were also being targeted.
Cruz said he saw the worry in his mom’s face. But he said he has the same fears about his family staying in their small town. His mother works in the school system, and his younger brother will return this year. Cruz said his younger brother has especially struggled with returning to school, asking if he can stay home or do virtual school instead.
Jaime Cruz, who graduated from Uvalde High School in June, on the University of Houston campus on Wednesday. He began his major in strategic communications this week.He said people he didn’t know came up to him throughout orientation to offer support and resources if he needed help during the semester. While he appreciated the gesture, he knows it will take time to find people who he’ll trust and feel comfortable sharing when he might be struggling.
“I feel like most people would know my story,” she told The Texas Tribune. “It’s not that I don’t want people to know my story. But I didn’t [want to] go in being labeled as that. … Going out of state, it’s … like reinventing yourself and not being defined by something.” “As individuals, we have the power to create the narrative that we want,” she said. “But also set boundaries and have conversations with people that you need to have conversations with so that you can get the help that you need and make sure that you feel comfortable and safe at the school that they attend. I think that’s very important for them.”
But grief and healing do not happen in a straight line. Her return home from college this year was especially tough. It coincided with the mass shooting in Buffalo, New York, where 10 people were killed and three others were injured. Then, the fourth anniversary of the shooting at her high school. And then the shooting in Uvalde. She said she now just associates May with these kinds of events, something she’ll have to prepare herself for each year as she continues to heal.
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