Coworkers of Kathleen Morris, a local brown-nosing employee, complain that she never attends meetings while drunk.
COLUMBUS, OH—Slurring their words while issuing a barrage of loud complaints, coworkers of local brown-nosing employee Kathleen Morris told reporters Wednesday that she never showed up drunk to meetings.
“That absolute kiss-ass has never once arrived halfway through a meeting completely hammered,” said visibly drunk coworker Ron Kerr, insisting that the only reason Morris got promoted over him was because she never vomited on the board room table after a rough night of hardcore partying.
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