'For the love of LGBTQ+ people everywhere, knock it off.'
Sometimes we use words or phrases without fully understanding their meanings or the impact it may have on others. Maybe it’s because I am a writer, but I tend to be thoughtful with my words. But really, I am a decent human being and try to use words that don’t alienate, offend, or discriminate against others. And if someone tells me they feel excluded or hurt by my words, I listen. I learn. I adjust. Even if I disagree, my place is to provide respect and space for meaningful conversations.
As a queer person who hears and sees many derogatory words directed at people like me, I would like to do my part and educate you on things you likely say every day that are homophobic or transphobic. You may not use these phrases very often, but you have likely said them and will likely say them again. But for the love of LGBTQ+ people everywhere, knock it off., are very bold on the Internet.
Butthurt stems from the act of an adult spanking a child on the butt as a form of punishment. It hurts. It is a form of control and fear. It also conjures up the idea of anal sex and anal rape. To use the word butthurt as a way to mock someone who is whining is also mocking anal rape, a very real risk for queer men and transgender women. Rape is not funny or clever.
When you use the word butthurt, you look like a homophobic asshat who is justifying domination, intimidation, and rape.We need to stop using cocksucker as an insult. We need to stop equating abuse with pleasure. And we need to stop comparing despicable people with a loving act often enjoyed between two men. I have yet to hear a cisgender straight man complain about a woman sucking cock. Yet men are quick to call other men cocksuckers like it’s a bad thing. Women are guilty of this too.
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