Scram, Joe Perry and Steven Tyler; hello, Iron Man and Brie Larson: The Marvel-themed roller coaster Avengers Assemble: Flight Force is an upgrade on the old Aerosmith ride at Disneyland Paris.
Beyond the coaster itself, there are really only three things I love about Disney’s Aerosmith coaster: Ken Marino’s wordless cameo in the preshow, the old Velvet Underground and MC5 show posters in the queue, and the very specific weirdness of somebody’s grandmother screaming “DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY” out of tune and out of time directly into your ear while you’re blasting through a couple of loops.
Even if Disney hadn’t fully assimilated Marvel Comics into its corporate sprawl long ago, Iron Man and Captain Marvel would be a better fit for a Disney park than the band whose two most famous members were nicknamed the Toxic Twins because of all the chemicals they hoovered up back in the ‘70s. Those two Marvel heroes are the stars of Flight Force, as they team up with park guests to keep a barrage of Kree missiles from destroying Earth.
The ride experience is the same, but all the props and scenery from the Aerosmith ride are gone. They’ve been replaced with screens featuring Captain Marvel and our Gallic Iron Man flying about and shooting down those space missiles. They banter back and forth, but unless you’re bilingual you’ll only pick up on one half of the chat. That’s not really a problem, or anything—you’re here for the discombobulation, not the conversation.
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