Dear Amy: My husband and I have become friends with another couple and have gotten together with them several times. Each time, over the course of the evening, the wife begins trying to pick a fight with her husband.
Thank you for supporting our journalism. This article is available exclusively for our subscribers, who help fund our work at the Chicago Tribune.Like you, I’m often curious about what happens to the advice I offer once it leaves my desk, and so I’ve asked readers to send in “updates” to let all of us know how my advice was received, if it was followed, and how things turned out.
Each time, over the course of the evening, the wife begins trying to pick a fight with her husband. She speaks to him in a belittling manner, her voice dripping with sarcasm and points out what she sees as his shortcomings, and though he ignores her, she doesn’t stop. Martha is creating an uncomfortable situation for everyone at the table. Why would you ignore it? She’s not shy about belittling her partner in public, so maybe you should be less shy about reacting honestly to it.Because this is a pattern with a clear perpetrator, you should call her out. Before agreeing to see them again, one — or both — of you should tell Martha, “We enjoy spending time with both of you, but Martha, the way you speak to George when we’re together makes us very uncomfortable.
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