A letter writer is getting sexual advances from the husband. How does she tell her friend?
I’ve been friends with “Marianne” since high school. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. My problem stems from her husband, “Chris.” I had only met him once before their wedding. My boyfriend was unable to attend, and as a single woman, I was heckled by most of the “married” groomsmen, who loudly speculated that I was wearing a thong. I decided to abstain from drinking, because the groom’s crowd made me nervous. While Marianne was on the dance floor, her new husband approached me.
His behavior is an assertion of power, and, yes, if you feel safe doing so, you should tell him, directly and loudly, to knock it off. “Stop it. Stop sexually harassing me. Stop speaking to me. Back off.” Then, by all means, tell your friend.Report truthfully to her that Chris has been sexually harassing you and that you’re sick of it, and that you have told him to stop.
Say: “I’m going to be frank about an area where you need to improve. You have a tendency to point out your co-workers’ errors directly to them. That is not how we operate here. I encourage people to check their own work, and recognize and correct their errors. If they don’t, I work with them to improve.”
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