Advice from Amy Dickinson.
Both my birth parents and adoptive parents have all died.
I understand wanting to honor her wishes, but I DO exist and the family’s wanting to keep me a secret makes me feel like my birth is shameful.Furthermore, these family members are ignoring the fact that Janice never wanted them to know about me, either, and yet they are happy to have a relationship with me.
You do need to understand, however, that your choice might have an impact on your relationship with these family members you’ve recently formed friendships with.You’ve been denied the dawning awareness, garnered over decades, that people who grow up with their birth families receive. You’re trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle on a sped-up timeline.
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