Dear Amy: I have been friends with “Susan” for over 35 years. I have shared many extremely sensitive and delicate problems with her.
— Wanting to Turn Off the Advice “Faucet”Hearing advice feels worse than someone merely expressing an opinion different from your own, because when someone offers advice, they are actually telling you what to do. And if this advice is unsolicited, they are assuming that you need it, perhaps because your own judgment is flawed.However, you don’t mention ever discussing this with “Susan.” Your passivity has contributed to the problem.
If you want to continue with this friendship, you should give Susan the benefit of knowing the intensity of your reaction to her unsolicited advice. Say, “I’ve stopped being in touch so often because I find your advice oppressive. I’ve been looking for friendship, not advice. Can we try for a reset?”
We politely nod and smile, asking a harmless question or two, while waiting for the conversation to end.
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