Ask Amy: Did my neighbor have to make me seem like a jerk on Facebook?

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Ask Amy: Did my neighbor have to make me seem like a jerk on Facebook?
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He could’ve just asked me to turn down my music. Now it’s blown up into this big thing.

Social media platforms like Facebook and Nextdoor can become toxic cesspools where people rudely and provocatively vent, drawing others into the fray. People write things they wouldn’t dream of saying out loud, using social media to settle scores. Then, if things go badly, they can conveniently hide behind the “block” and “unfriend” buttons.

And – just as your neighbor has taken the cowardly path – why, I wonder, is your wife crossing the yard to try to talk this out? She wasn’t blasting Led Zeppelin in the garage; you were! If you don’t receive an apology from your obnoxious neighbor and want to demonstrate a more sophisticated way of behaving, you might close the circle if you acknowledge that you’re sorry this episode has created tension between you. You could add: “In the future, I hope that we can restore our neighborly connection and talk things out personally and respectfully when there is a problem.”: A good friend has asked me to travel with her.

She has an audible alert for everything, and she checks her phone every time. She interrupts conversation to do this and then tells me what it was about. I don’t have my phone with me all the time, and I certainly don’t interrupt a conversation to check, unless it is a rare emergency.Should I ask her to turn off her speaker and stop answering all texts and alerts while we travel together? Is this reasonable?: I think the best approach is to tell your friend that this really bothers and distracts you when you are with her, and because of that you don’t think you’d enjoy traveling with her as much as you have in the past.

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