As an immigrant kid, I learned about Christmas from TV — it nearly broke my heart

'As a kid who got bullied at school for not speaking English, I related to Rudolph’s woes of being excluded by other reindeers.'

Courtesy Nancy YuenOn Christmas Day 1984, I tiptoed over to the front door of my house, anxious to see what Santa brought. The night before, I had made paper stockings from notebook paper based on images I’d seen on television. I wrote “Nancy” on one stocking and “Dad” on the other with a blue ballpoint pen, the way I saw American names embroidered on stockings hung on mantles, like on “.

But both paper stockings had fallen off the wall and lay flat on the floor. My heart sank. I slid my hands into each of them. Empty. As a desperate final act, I opened the front door, hoping that Santa was waiting outside with his bag full of gifts. But all I let in was a chill that stayed long past that Christmas.Christmas was a mystery to me. We had not celebrated this holiday in Taiwan, where I was born.

I threw away the stockings and turned on the television set. “How the Grinch Stole Christmas!” was on. I had never related to a movie so much in my young life. I felt the Grinch’s pain at seeing everyone else’s perfect Christmases with trees and presents and a joy that seemed so out of reach. Why should everyone else have so much holiday bounty when I was so lonely in a new country? But I didn’t blame my father for failing to stuff my stockings.

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