Some observant element in his composition guessed, and guessed quite accurately, that she was nineteen.... - novel fiction
She had an eyebrow like a quick stroke of a camel's-hair brush, she had a glowing face, half childish imp, half woman, she had honest hazel eyes, a voice all music, a manifest decision of character. And he must have this bite seen to at once. She lived not five minutes away. He must come with her.
“In the summer we all do,” said the younger cousin. “Amanda makes us. We go out on to the little lawn at the back.” “Asia Minor ought to be fun,” said Amanda. “But I should prefer India because of the tigers. It would be so jolly to begin with the tigers right away.” Presently the supper things got themselves put away and the talk moved into a smaller room with several armchairs and a fire. Mrs.
In his bed in the Ship that night he thought of nothing but her before he went to sleep, and when next morning he walked on his way over the South Downs to Chichester his mind was full of her image and of a hundred pleasant things about her. In his confessions he wrote, “I felt there was a sword in her spirit. I felt she was as clean as the wind.”
When he had gone to the house and taken his leave that morning it had seemed quite in the vein of the establishment that he should be received by Amanda alone and taken up the long garden before anybody else appeared, to see the daffodils and the early apple-trees in blossom and the pear-trees white and delicious.
At first she praised it as a pretty book in the dearest little binding, and then realized that there were deeper implications, and became grave and said she would read it through and through, she loved such speculative reading. So soon as he had had some dinner at his club he wrote his South Harting friends a most agreeable letter of thanks for their kindness to him. In a little while he hoped he should see them again. His mother, too, was most desirous to meet them.... That done, he went on to his flat and to various aspects of life for which he was quite unprepared.
“Come round and have a jolly little evening to-morrow night. I've got some more of that harpsichord music. And I'm dying to see you. Don't you understand?” He paused and came a step nearer. “You see, sir,” he explained with the faintest flavour of the confidential softening his mechanical respect, “yesterday, when 'er ladyship was 'ere, sir, some one rang up on the telephone—”“Exactly, sir. But 'er ladyship said 'I'LL go to that, Merkle,' and just for a moment I couldn't exactly think 'ow I could manage it, sir, and there 'er ladyship was, at the telephone. What passed, sir, I couldn't 'ear.
An expression of perplexity came into her face. She looked at him. “Why do you want to throw her over?”He stood up and went to the hearthrug, and his mother reflected that this was exactly what all men did at just this phase of a discussion. Then things ceased to be sensible. “India!” cried Lady Marayne. “The East. Poff, what is the MATTER with you? Has something happened—something else? Have you been having a love affair?—a REAL love affair?”
He had never seen his mother weep before. Her self-abandonment amazed him. Her words were distorted by her tears. It was the most terrible and distressing of crises....That night the silences of Finacue Street heard Benham's voice again. “I must do my job,” he was repeating, “I must do my job. Anyhow....”The next day his resolution had to bear the brunt of a second ordeal. Mrs. Skelmersdale behaved beautifully and this made everything tormentingly touching and difficult.
He couldn't keep his arm from her little shoulders. And as their lips touched he suddenly found himself weeping also.... There is so little measure in the wild atonements of the young that it was perhaps as well for the Research Magnificent that the remorses of this period of Benham's life were too complicated and scattered for a cumulative effect. In the background of his mind and less subdued than its importance could seem to warrant was his promise to bring the Wilder-Morris people into relations with Lady Marayne.
“Oh!—I'll behave well. Don't think I'll disgrace your casual acquaintances. But who they are, what they are, I WILL know....”“Come round,” she said over the telephone, two mornings later. “I've something to tell you.” “I'm going round the world,” he told them simply. “I may be away for two years, and I thought I would like to see you all again before I started.”The supper-party included Mr.
She stared at him in silence. The two white-lit faces examined each other. Both she and Benham were trembling.Then suddenly she was weeping like a child that is teased; her troubled eyes looked out from under puckered brows. “You don't mean it,” she said. “You don't mean it.”“Marry me,” he said very quickly, glancing towards the dark group at the end of the garden. “And we will go together.
“Don't TELL any one,” she whispered eagerly shaking his arm to emphasize her words. “Don't tell any one—not yet. Not for a few days....”
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