All the TV I Watched When I Was Chronically Depressed

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All the TV I Watched When I Was Chronically Depressed
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When I wasn’t watching TV, I could hear my brain, and my brain was the worst podcast in the world.

— the accents helped, because I’d doze off whenever I couldn’t figure out what they were saying. And after that I loved the Mindy Kaling–produced teen drama

. Talk about low stakes combined with solid performances. I was morose when it ended. The streaming services seemed filled with true crime and reality . I scrolled Netflix, Hulu, HBO Max —or anything artfully made was out, obviously — and came up with nothing I could sink my teeth into. I began to genuinely panic., which was the answer to all my prayers.has six long seasons, and I desperately wish there were more. From the beginning, I was hooked.

Passionate yet impassive Alicia Florrick, with her somehow expressive yet immobile face and her slightly imperfect wigs, won me over immediately. She was always going to reliably show up in court in her stunning bodycon suits and she was going to win, usually, and if not, she was going to be stunned and outraged. Afterward, she was going to relax with her heels up on a desk and a scotch in her hand, or at a bar with a glass of red wine.

The structure of the show also soothed and reassured me. Dressed up as drama, it was really a procedural, with a dramatic A plot — some court case or other — and then the ongoing drama of the law firm as a B plot and a low-stakes C plot involving whichever lawyers were having sex with each other at any given time. I came to rely on the rhythm of the show, as soothing as a slowly beating drum.

I was so disappointed when the show ended, and even though I was doing a little bit better by that point — going outside, seeing friends sometimes — I still badly needed to spend all the other hours of my day not having thoughts. Unfortunately, the next show to present itself was

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