Advice: It’s a matter of understanding that people have to take no for an answer if that’s the only answer you give them.
She recently overstepped a boundary by putting on the full-court press for me to cave in: 5 a.m. text messages, sometimes 6 a.m., thrice daily calls or more! And instead of caving in, I finally just blocked her number. Sweet, sweet relief. Now she is calling friends of mine whom she barely knows, crying that I am ignoring her. HELP? I don’t even think I want to be friends with her anymore.You answered your own question.
It’s a matter of understanding that people have to take no for an answer if that’s the only answer you give them. And that’s your decision: You are in complete control of holding your own lines.So, sure, this friendship sounds as if it’s over — but if you don’t want it to be, then make your limits clear to her and hold firm.
· Is your friend not taking no for an answer? Or is she not getting a direct no, and not taking the hint you are sending because you “hedge, hem and haw”?When I mean no, I usually say no, and probably only “hedge, hem and haw” when I would like to say yes but there are obstacles involved. Some of us need direct communication, because we stink at trying to understand indirect communication that seem to clear to others.
Make sure you have clearly said, “I don’t want to do X, and calls and texts at 5 a.m. are not acceptable.” You don’t have to do this, but it is kinder than ending a friendship without having done it .
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