'Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet she’s about to open.'
My husband asleep in a chair for the last 58 minutes will wake up within a split second of me changing the channel and yell "I WAS WATCHING THAT!"Me: *tapes note to microwave reminding coworkers to PLEASE CLEAN UP SPILLS THIS MICROWAVE IS FOR THE WHOLE OFFICEDid I ever tell you about how uncomfortable my chair was in my wife’s birthing room?Be right back, my wife is in the kitchen and I need to go stand in front of the cabinet she’s about to open.
”Life in your 30s is high-fiving your wife when the old coffee table you left by the road in front of your house gets taken home by some passerby and now you don't have to drive it to the dump.
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